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03 August 2008


It was almost exactly two years ago. Man, it seems like so much longer than that. That was when I met my Goddess, my dream girl, the one I'll always want, but can never have - Eva. But, wait, some background first.
I was about four months out of a really tough relationship. Don't get me wrong, I loved Jill, passionately. Loved her more than anyone before and probably since. Loved her so much that I lost all sense of myself. It was a disaster from the start.
I had been planning a trip abroad, my first ever, for a little while. First it was to be Belize, but when that fell through I set my sights on Peru. I pulled together the money, with a little help from my family, and in the middle of August I was off.
The plane flew all night and into the morning. I don't remember whether or not I slept - probably a little bit - but in any case I was tired when I arrived. When I got to the hostel in Lima where I would spend the first night it was only about 10 AM - I breakfasted on a hamburger bought at a small stand on the way and then went upstairs to my room and passed out.
I can't remember how long I was actually asleep, but it couldn't have been too much time because I still had the whole day ahead of me. I grabbed a book, and rather than sitting alone in my room, I went down to the living room and read on the couch.
That was the first time I saw her. I looked up from my book over to the computer. She turned and looked at me and I was caught by the two bright sapphires the glowed beneath her ebony hair. I tried to go back to reading my book, but could not resist looking back up at her only to see her looking back at me. She actually noticed me, saw me, and seemed to want me to come to her. However, being too shy, I let her go. Eventually, she drifted back up the stairs and disappeared into one of the rooms.
Shortly after she came back down with a friend of hers. I was on my way up, but she stopped me. SHE approached ME! She said they were going to go to the beach, would I like to come along? Sure, I said. I ran upstairs, put my book away and went back down to her, shocked that she would even recognize my existence.
On the walk to the beach we all talked, the three of us. There was a bit of a language barrier. I learned that Eva was a French Basque - she spoke French, of course and fluent Spanish, but was embarrassed by the little English she knew. I spoke only a very small amount of Spanish, and so we spent most of the time talking to and through the other girl who spoke fluent English, Spanish, French and German. I didn't care, though. When we got to the beach Eva shared her towel with me. She read for a little while and then we talked. I told her that I was studying anthropology and she told me about her fascination with ancient relics, and museums. The more we talked the more I felt her come down to my level - she was just a woman, a beautiful woman, but someone I could talk to, someone I could see myself spending time with, someone who would care about me. The three of us spent the rest of the evening walking around Lima and then returned to the hostel and watched Harry Potter in French with English subtitles.
The next day I had to leave, to go to Huancayo where I would spend the next month teaching young children and living with a Peruvian family. I saw her one last time before I left. I was on the computer checking my email, she was leaving to go to the museum in Lima. She said goodbye, wished me well on my trip and kissed my cheek. I kissed her cheek, a standard salutation in Latin America and Europe, but in that moment it was ecstasy for me - to feel her soft skin on my lips.
I never saw her again. I have no way of contacting her, no way of knowing what ever happened to her. She was in my life for an instant - washed all trace of Jill from my mind, like one of those magical cleaners you see on TV that get out any stain - and then she was gone. But I'll always remember her, for her beauty, for her humanness, and for showing me that life does go on. I can never have her, but she will always be mine.


btmc said...

I remember we talked about this at the time, and we shared stories about a woman who comes into your life for but an instant and leaves you breathless and ready to live another thousand years, love with all your heart and give it unashamed. I believe we were going to write a legend about it. now I see you have, good for you! Venus is the most obvious existing legend, but I wonder about Lilith, this other woman in Judaic faith who was made at the same time as Adam, before they took his rib, made of the same earth, was actually equal to him, and became a figure of horror when he could not master her, responsible for crib death and nocturnal emissions and what not. I'm only drawing the comparison because I'm interested in this myth at the moment, because lilith never has a mate, is equal to Adam and so on. I guess the woman of our dreams has a place in our lives, I just wonder if this perfect woman could ever be the real thing, what would happen if we spent alot of time with this magnetic woman, would we learn her flaws? I dunno

emmett said...

I believe that a piece of her perfection is the unknown, this perfect woman. I don't believe that I have met mine yet, I have never truly experienced the pure feeling of connection and joy, but it was told to me once by a beautiful, intelligent, and arrogant Rebbecca that love, or what many young people perceive as love, is only 30% of who the person really is, and 70% of what you want or hope them to be. Probably the reason I have never experienced this ethereal equal of feminine humanity is because I have never had my heart broken. I hope that it will be an enlightening and painful experience.

Jeremy Trombley said...

Emmett, don't let your heart get broken if you can possibly avoid it. It won't do you any good to go through it, you won't learn anything, there is no aesthetic value and it will certainly be very painful. Keep your self respect and your dignity, no matter what, and don't let anyone, even a beautiful woman, take advantage of your kindness. Nobody deserves that.
I'd agree with Rebbecca about the 70/30 thing, though maybe it's a bit higher at first (like 90/10) and then gradually goes down. At some point the ratio shifts in favor of the real person, though it may take a while. If you can make it that far without having either of you loose interest, then you're doing well and you should be happy.

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